Day 2: Direction

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
No, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
Well, I wake in the morning,
Fold my hands and pray for rain.
I got a head full of ideas
That are drivin' me insane.
It's a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor.
I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.


I ain't gonna work for Maggie's brother no more.
No, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's brother no more.
Well, he hands you a nickel,
He hands you a dime,
He asks you with a grin
If you're havin' a good time,
Then he fines you every time you slam the door.
I ain't gonna work for Maggie's brother no more.

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's pa no more.
No, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's pa no more.
Well, he puts his cigar
Out in your face just for kicks.
His bedroom window
It is made out of bricks.
The National Guard stands around his door.
Ah, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's pa no more.

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's ma no more.
No, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's ma no more.
Well, she talks to all the servants
About man and God and law.
Everybody says
She's the brains behind pa.
She's sixty-eight, but she says she's twenty-four.
I ain't gonna work for Maggie's ma no more.

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
No, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
Well, I try my best
To be just like I am,
But everybody wants you
To be just like them.
They sing while you slave and I just get bored.
I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.

[Maggie's Farm by Bob Dylan]

[Copyright ©1965; renewed 1993 Special Rider Music]

Thanks Lord and the friends and family who've guided me. I had not been able to decide what direction my life was going to take from the current limbo. Today I have a fair idea as to what I will be striving for in the months ahead. The lines above do fairly mirror my feeling right now and this is the reason why these are plastered above.

I have a target to look forward to, so help me God.

Day 1: The realization

..through many a dark and dreary vale

They passed, and many a region dolorous,

O'er many a frozen, many a fiery alp,

Rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens, and shades of death,

A universe of death, which God by curse

Created evil, for evil only good,

Where all life dies, death lives, and nature breeds,

Perverse, all monstrous, all prodigious things,

Abominable, inutterable, and worse

Than fables yet have feigned, or fear concieved,

Gorgons and hydras, and chimeras dire

[Paradise Lost: Book II: Lines 618-628]

With the dreary reverie one is faced on a saturday afternoon and the events which have come to pass, I read these lines and these words by Milton and even after those 350 odd years these were penned, it does not fail to send a shiver up my spine.

Why do these lines hold an allure? The picture they depict is not a cheery one, not one that should be taking up the few and far between moments a youthful, zestful guy with most of his necessities covered, and who still is exploring this world just like a five year old with new tastes, new feelings, new playthings.

One thing I have realised and have resolved, is that these ancient lines indeed do describe the state of mind I am in, the people around me are and on some level the entire world I live in. I yearn, with all my intensity and awareness, that things do turn to a cheerier page but I have decided that I will not wait for that day.

I will face the truth, try to understand why things are so, be it so utterly distasteful or painful, I will be the one or one of those who strive to literally be the elusive Panacea, the greek goddess who cures all, who may be the answer to the suffering in the world.

Today is the day I have decided that I will try to piece this jigsaw together, futile though may it be, a dead end it may have been, to those, who had ventured this before me heads bowed down fully aware of the task ahead, but thankfully and blissfully unaware of the impending challenges that lie ahead , to pursue the one direction that their heart tells them to.

Now, and every moment from now, I will strive to make this world a better place, so help me God.